Y’all remember I was having a shitty ugly crying moment earlier today right? I deadass was feeling like a failure. “Fuck. What the fuck am I even actually doing???” This came about because of my irregular period who decided to make its way back into my life after an alarmingly long hiatus and a conversation with my worry-worm mother that sent me into a downward spiral of emotions that left me feeling like a complete failure, shitty daughter, and doubting the process of my talents, accolades, and progress.
It left me was feeling so SO sad, so I grabbed my Saint Laurent backpack that I bought off my old boss almost three-years ago (“I sure could use those $300,” I thought.) and stuffed my laptop, chargers, and Beats by Dre, and headed to the gym.
Having a moment of doubt. I cried it out. Got my ass to the gym and am listening to @ArianaGrande. No day is the same. No one is perfect. But we must have a plan ready to counteract moments like this. What’s yours? pic.twitter.com/v5hCTq3pd2
— TITA (@titacarra_) December 15, 2018
*cramp*
*cramp*
*cramp*
MY SPIRITUAL GUIDES ARE MY RIDE OR DIES.
Of course I found myself at Target afterwards for some good ole’ retail therapy as one does. Although, tbh, it’s something I never do. But, I needed a sweater. I also needed earrings, (nickel free, pro-silver) apparently, and a necklace. I’m a minimalist for the most part and would never actually buy necklaces for myself, but I love affirmations. And as the universe and divine intervention would have it, I came across a Gratitude necklace that read, “Everything comes to you in the right moment. Be patient. Be grateful.”
It did make my soft-beating heart-of-the-day palpitate with hope that the universe was trying to give me a sign. Or, maybe it was just genius eye-level product placement marketing by X company. Whatever it was, I took the later.
Eight dollars for a gorgeous squash fuzzy sweater that looked like something out of Banana Republic because as luck would have it I unknowingly walked into Target during “30% off all women’s apparel and boots!”
OH MY GOD…AND BOOTS!!
*cramp*
*cramp*
*cramp*
Things were looking up without me noticing them.
I’m typing this from Panera now where, guess what? The cashier told me I had one free bagel reward every day for the rest of December. While I happy as hell on account that I never win anything except the day when I won a Barbie computer game on FoxKids in the 90s for a computer I didn’t have, LOL, I kid you not. Jokes on you Fox. Also, gross— Fox.
Again, things were looking up without me noticing them.
Anyways, I saw the email that had been eyeing me to open it all day, but I didn’t because I thought it was an email I had already replied to and deemed it a read email I accidentally marked unread. The convo was between myself and a lovely person who represents a company that I have been dying for CARRA to partner wit, but the proposal wasn’t right, I’m assuming, because we never heard back from them.
The Self-Made Winter Solstice pop-up event that was meant to take place today was pushed to late early 2019, and I was worried because a couple of potential partners like said person in that email were interested in seeing a report from this event.
I thought I was fucked.
But the event was pushed back for good reason. We had a huge turnout that we honestly didn’t anticipate. We had only 13 seats available to which 133 people RSVP’d too. Being that CARRA is an inclusive brand whose ENTIRE existence was founded on the principles of supporting and empowering self-made women, I decided to push it back so that everyone that RSVP’d was able to attend should they be available.
*cramp*
*cramp*
*cramp*
SHOW ME THE MONEY…OR NAH. IT’S COOL.
Financially, for December, CARRA didn’t meets fiscal goal not doing this event. But, I didn’t found CARRA with the intention to be solely invested in its financial success.
I started CARRA because I wanted it to be a source of support, inspiration, resource, and community for entrepreneurial women experiencing the same things that I have/do.
“Everything comes to you in the right moment. Be patient. Be grateful.”
I said this to myself three times after reading that email. Turns out they’re interested in working with us next year albeit the push back of our Self-Made Winter Solstice pop-up, which they found about because someone who RSVP’d to the event attended one of their events and I’m guessing at some point, CARRA and I came-up in the convo.
THE TAKEAWAY
I think the takeaway lessons here are the following:
- Beware of the moments when people try to reflect their insecurities on you.
- Have a plan of action to “break in case of emergency” when that happens.
- Keep in mind that at any moment signs are being delivered to you by your spiritual guides as an answer to your literal cry for help (me in my bathroom today).
- Also? Ugly Cry! The purging is much needed for clarity.
- Exist only in the energy that is believing in yourself and what you know is true despite what anyone says.
- Don’t take seriously the words of follower when they’re speaking to a visionary.
- Recite what you know and do what you need to, to change your vibration.
- Take Midol or buy the entire fucking box of Snickers
What’s up with you?????
