C-executives listen up because the sugar-coating stops at CARRA. Yes, you’re brilliant and innovative but nobody cares about your wealth and luxurious lifestyle when you’re in courting mode. “You’re wrong. They do.” And, I would rebuttal with “you’re right they do,” but those are the people you shouldn’t be dating anyway. So really the ones who are worth it don’t care.
The last thing you want is to be staring at them at the altar or at a drive-thru wedding in Vegas (God forbid) with that little voice going off saying “my riches might’ve attracted [her/him] but they stayed for me.” That is not a way to start off your marriage. You deserve better than that; don’t settle. If you didn’t settle for a traditional life, why would that apply to your future spouse?
“…my riches might’ve attracted [her/him] but they stayed for me.”
Abolish the tired whine that your success is the reason you can’t find anyone of substance to appreciate your soul (attention business people: you do in fact have souls). The real reason why you’re unsuccessful in this area of your life are many things primarily with your lack of basic social communication skills lost in the abyss of your obsessive number-crunching; your overly-researched mind and the loss of your ability to screen, yes, every shitty applicant to your company but not your future Mr. or Mrs., plus your paranoia.
Listen, I’m the first to agree with you that there are calculated people who prowl the successful with the mentality of “secure the bag.” Your paranoia is real and understandable but your paranoia is also helping you miss out on making some genuine connections and meeting some phenomenal people.
The other thing is that you can sell the hell out of a new product you’re launching; you can make the most beneficial hire for the company or project and forming partnerships is a breeze for you, but you freeze when your enthusiasm, inquisitiveness, and personality is needed outside the boardroom.
What’s really allowing you to fail to make the proper connections with a potential romantic prospect is your EQ. Your ability to evaluate and relate to people on an emotional level is going to go far but guess what: you also need your brain. Combine that with your already high IQ and you won’t need my favorite matchmakers Patti Stanger or Matthew Hussey (sorry guys I might be putting you out of business here).
The best why I can explain this concept to you is that while some may not agree that we’re “selling ourselves” all the time, we in fact are. We’re just not in business mode to notice is. For example: when you make new friends. You’re not intentionally and literally selling yourself for currency but you are quote/unquote selling the idea that you’re either a fun or trustworthy person enough to “invest” in a new friendship, or for the sake of this article, a relationship.
Don’t let that depress you and don’t overthink it because I know you love to do that. Do a role reversal because why not? You should be exclusive and selective with who you bring into your life because it’s already fucking fantastic. It’s not a bad thing to think like that all if you’re humble and level-headed about it. This is is a sign of having self-worth. Ask yourself the following to attract only high-quality people, romantic driven or not, into your life: “Are they bringing any significant value into my life?” This quick and short “sales” explanation may be a step in the right direction for you to understand and strategize your day-to-day interactions outside of work.
While I joke and give you tough love, I am very aware that it can feel like people are using you to get ahead because the truth is some people actually do. You have to get good at screening people who are like that. Sure, this sounds like an extraneous amount of work to do, but if I could do it, you can too. The first step to overcoming a “challenge” (I hate the word problem, my mother taught me that) is identifying it, which I’ve done for you already so you’re welcome. I take thank you’s in the form of letters to the editor via email and/or comments below. Do file this under the real reason why you’re rich, single, and unhappy. Don’t forget it’s your EQ that’s at the root of your problem. You’re already great, so loosen up and have fun but keep a level head.
